A Greensborough couple is genuinely considering breaking up after they realised that they don’t have an official song with which to legitimise their relationship. Despite being together for four and half years and currently living together, Brad Finlayson and Cara Fraser are in crisis talks over the future of their relationship after struggling to agree on a sweet song to share for all of eternity.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle, Finlayson said, “I just don’t know what to do. I mean, everything else is going great guns: she’s into sport, serviceable in bed, keeps fit, cooks a mean spag bol, and keeps up with me on the drink, but if we don’t have an ‘our song’ are we just living a lie?”

While Fraser was initially too shattered to go on record, she did eventually tell us, “It’s not like we haven’t tried. Every time one of us suggests a song the other either hates it or points out that the lyrics are actually about some whacked out scenario that doesn’t really suit us as a couple. I don’t want to say it, but this could be the end.”