A dirty rotten eavesdropper sitting on a Hurstbridge Line train for last night’s peak hour commute engaged in a lively internal debate about whether to blow his cover and join in a conversation between two complete strangers. After listening intently to the discussion from Westgarth to Eaglemont, the man wrestled with the potential implications of essentially admitting to the entire carriage that he had been creeping on two people he didn’t know.

The man’s urge to join the conversation was due to some glaring factual inaccuracies being bandied around by the other two people. According to the man, “these two blokes were banging on about the World Cup, and one of them was trying to explain the offside rule to the other. But he had no idea what he was talking about, and the longer it went on I just couldn’t handle it!”

Incensed by the incorrect interpretation of the offside rule, the dirty rotten eavesdropper broke cover and corrected the man who was speaking to his friend. An awkward silence followed, and then the two men who were originally having the discussion continued on in hushed tones and changed the topic, each stealing the occasional glance back at the eavesdropper. The entire mood of the carriage had received irretrievable damage.