Keen to find any crack in the otherwise faultless veneer that has been baby Jacob’s first five months on earth, rival Macleod mother Stephanie Cornes has questioned Jacob’s choice of sleeping bag design. In a thinly veiled swipe at Jacob’s boastful mother, Stephanie says that Jacob’s “I love cars” sleeping bag is “at best, a blatant lie. At worst, unhealthy pigeon-holing of a young and impressionable child.”
With competition rife in the mothers group attended by both Stephanie and Jacob’s mother, Rebecca, a subtle clique of mums have noticed Rebecca’s penchant for telling everyone how amazing her son Jacob has been. According to Stephanie, “at first it was just sleep-related stuff, you know ‘Jacob is sleeping through’, ‘I actually have to wake Jacob up for his feeds’, just the usual stuff. But then she started making some developmentally absurd claims. First she said that Jacob was already talking, then she said he could play the opening chords of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ on his toy ukulele. It was getting ridiculous.”
The unsubstantiated claims made by Rebecca put a natural target on her head, with other mums in the group trawling through Rebecca’s social media accounts for any potential faults. All attempts at defamation had been fruitless until last Saturday night when Rebecca posted a photo of Jacob in his sleeping bag with the caption “Sweat dreams my little angel”. On the surface it seemed fine, but when Stephanie noticed an “I love cars” badge on the chest of the sleeping bag, she was quick to pounce. “How could a five-month-old be self-aware enough to make such a character-defining statement? The little suckers can barely hold objects in their stumpy little hands, let alone properly play with a toy car. What do I think about it? At best, a blatant lie. At worst, unhealthy pigeon-holing of a young and impressionable child.”
Rebecca was unavailable for comment. The group’s Facebook page shows that this week’s Friday morning play date has been cancelled.