The dreams of soccer fans across the globe have been shattered after news surfaced overnight that North Korea have won the World Cup. While those following the tournament believed that it was just about to enter the knockout stage, news out of North Korea has indicated that they have already won the title.

An article published last night by the Pyongyang Post announced the North Korean team as the winners, triggering widespread celebrations across the prosperous nation. The article also noted that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un was awarded the coveted Golden Boot award for scoring the most goals in the tournament after sending an impressive 37 shots into the back of the net.

However, the most remarkable aspect of Jong-un’s achievement is that he was reportedly also the team’s goal keeper, saving an admirable 45 genuine strikes on his goal, while also netting the aforementioned 37 goals at the other end. Oddly there was no photographic evidence of the win, and the official World Cup website does not list North Korea as a competing nation in this year’s tournament, but that’s probably just another example of western propaganda.