King Thistle, from the popular children’s show Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom, has been crowned the ultimate poster boy for the patriarchy, as regular viewers of the show point out that his ineptitude as a leader clearly taps into the modern political zeitgeist. Underground magazine Patriarchy Monthly, has given Thistle the title in its most recent issue where it counts down the Top 10 poster boys of 2018.

While Thistle has been a regular in the Top 10 of this list over the last five years, it is the first time he has risen to number one after a solid year of lacklustre leadership and social ineptitude. Thistle, the presumed head of some ancient monarchy that most likely lost touch with its populace multiple generations ago, makes a habit of reminding people around him that he’s the boss, and seems to delight in making short-sighted decisions that will mostly benefit just himself.

According to Patriarchy Monthly, Thistle’s elevation to the top spot this year is due to his “unmistakable ability to frequently remind the peons around him that he’s in charge”. They also claimed that, “Thistle’s leadership is the only thing keeping that kingdom afloat. The Wise Old Elf is a grumpy jerk, Holly’s got no idea what she’s doing, and everyone else seems to just accept that there’s a pet ladybird walking around everywhere and acting like a dog.”

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