The entire state of Queensland is reportedly considering a name change to “Victoriansland” for the winter months, due to the annual northern pilgrimage that Victorians make to escape the cold weather. While Queensland Government officials remain tight-lipped about the potential move, inside sources seem confident that the name change will be in place for next year’s winter season.

If the new moniker does get approved, it’s sure to cause outrage in arguably our nation’s most parochial state. One anonymous Queenslander that we contacted was particularly outraged by the suggestion, telling The Watsonia Bugle, “They’re gunna do what mate? Over my dead body man. Them southerners have got no idea. Wouldn’t know if their arse was on fire mate.”

Despite conceding that he worked in an industry heavily supported by tourism in Queensland, the same anonymous man was more concerned about one other implication of the potential name change. He said, “But mate, State of Origin is in winter. What are me and me mates supposed to yell out at Lang Park? VICTORIANSLANDER? No bloody way mate. Not happening.”