A local rogue has spectacularly claimed that Andrew Gaff’s greatest crime from yesterday’s sickening strike on Andrew Brayshaw was that Gaff got the wrong Brayshaw. Greensborough man Ken Hamilton has said that if Gaff punched Channel 7 commentator James Brayshaw the public outcry from the incident would not have been as severe.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hamilton said, “What Gaff did was pretty bad, we know that, but if he’d punched James instead of Andrew would we be as upset as we are right now? Surely anything that impairs JB’s power a speech is a good thing for footy. I think so anyway.”

While the footy world whips itself into a frenzy speculating at the length of Gaff’s inevitable suspension for the incident, Hamilton is still ruing a lost opportunity. He said, “If you’re gunna punch a Brayshaw, it’s got to be James. I mean, apart from the fact Andrew is just an 18-year-old kid, most of us didn’t even know of his existence until Gaff whacked him yesterday. Whereas James has been bugging the hell out of me for years.”