Local MPs are reportedly bracing themselves for an influx of people requesting their very own portrait of the Queen, following recent publicity about the so-called “constituents’ request program”. First broken by VICE yesterday, and then picked up by mainstream news today, apparently all Australian citizens are entitled to certain “Nationhood Material” – including Australian flags and, yes, a very fetching portrait of Queen Elizabeth II in full Aussie regalia (minus the yellow Fanatics t-shirt).

Considering that all you have to do is email a local MP, royalists and people with too much time on their hands (sometimes not mutually exclusive) are expected to inundate our local politicians with portrait requests. One local resident told The Watsonia Bugle, “Yeah mate, absolutely, I’ll be emailing for one before the end of the day. You can’t get much free stuff these days, and I loooove free stuff. Hit me up!”

However, considering the criticism that the “constituents’ request program” has received in the past for being a waste of tax payer funds, we advise you to tread carefully. As a general public service announcement, we ask that you only request a portrait of our Queeny if you legitimately plan on framing it and displaying it somewhere prominent in your household or office. Haha, only joking.