A drunk man has been asked to leave top Melbourne restaurant Vue de monde after repeatedly shouting “you da mon Vue de monde” as fellow diners averted their eyes and muttered comments about spoiled ambiance. The Eltham man’s wife was equally horrified by his behaviour, and was later heard telling him, “You see, this is why we can’t do nice things!”

The man, who requested anonymity, had spent yesterday afternoon at the footy with his mates before meeting his wife in the city for their long-awaited degustation meal. They had been looking forward to the dinner for months, initially making their booking back in March as an anniversary gift to themselves. However, from the moment the man’s wife saw him stumbling down the escalator at Southern Cross Station she knew he’d overdone it at the footy and that the night would be a write off.

In between hiccups he tried in vain to convince his wife that he was fine, and had only had “a couple of beers” at the footy with the boys. As they made their way up Collins Street from the station, the man was noticeably uneasy on his feet, and kept wanting to talk about an incident at the Collingwood game involving his friend Wayno that was apparently “the funniest thing ever”.

While, the couple entered the exclusive restaurant without incident, once seated it was clear that they were on a knife’s edge. The man repeatedly said, “Fuck, how good’s the view darl?” In addition to his jarring use of cuss words, more than once the man stumbled over to the window, squinted into the distance, and said with an outside voice, “Yep, yeah, I reckon I can definitely see me mum’s place from here. That’s awesome.”

Management at the restaurant kept a close eye on proceedings, and were initially tolerant of the man’s abnormal behaviour, but drew a line after repeated utterances of ‘You da mon’ to any staff in his general vicinity. According to Head Waiter, Fergus Comberbach, “He first said it to one of the waiters, but then he just started to yell it randomly and frequently. Every now and then he threw in some aggressive finger guns with it. Someone said he also dabbed at one point, but I didn’t see that so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.”