In a truly heroic act, Watsonia man Derek Simpson put his tastebuds on the line at a party last night by delving into the chip bowl before knowing what flavour the chips were. Assessing the bowl of plain coloured potato chips, Simpson threw caution to the wind by grabbing a generous handful and shovelling them into his mouth. Naturally he hoped for salt and vinegar, but knew full well that they could’ve been plain, sea salt, or a very lightly coloured variety of chicken.

Simpson’s close friends looked on intently, knowing that his trailblazing behaviour would ultimately benefit them, and have a significant impact on their snack table consumption plan. From the moment the chips entered Simpson’s mouth he knew his fate – they were bloody plain flavour.

The disappointment around Simpson was palpable, as his friends immediately expanded their hunt for snacks, while also quietly acknowledging Simpson’s bravery in taking one for the team. His good mate Dave was later heard saying, “I mean who buys plain anyway, it’s like eating toast without any spread”. The host of the event was unavailable for comment.

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