A deep chasm has split Watsonians, due to a person’s choice of bakery becoming a key criteria in their suitability for friendship. For many years the people of Watsonia have had the luxury of two bakeries on their main street, one of many examples of being spoilt for choice with takeaway food.

But in a detailed investigation led by The Watsonia Bugle, we can reveal that a person’s loyalty to one of the two bakeries can have a flow on effect to other areas of their life. The investigation even discovered otherwise close knit families who have been torn apart by the bakery choice of their members.

One mother, who requested strict anonymity, said “this issue has torn our family apart. I’ve always preferred the bread at the lower bakery, plus it’s closer to IGA so it’s easier to pop in for a quick loaf, but my husband insists on going to the top bakery. And now our kids are split as well. My youngest daughter loves the cakes up the top, but my son only eats the sausage rolls at the lower. It’s a living nightmare. We now eat lunch separately.”

While The Watsonia Bugle refuses to weigh into the argument of which bakery is better, we do believe that the “top bakery” (next door to the Post Office) produces the most delicious pies in the cosmos.