A local hospital will reportedly change its name in the coming weeks so it can more accurately portray its new business focus. If rumours are to be believed, the Heidelberg venue formerly known as “Austin Hospital” will soon be referred to as “Austin Parking” following reports the venue made a cool $11.5 million in parking revenue last year.

An anonymous source close to the multi-storey car parking conglomerate contacted The Watsonia Bugle yesterday to tip us off on the name change, saying management thought the name change was necessary for the future viability of the business. The source said, “The official word is that they want to be more transparent with the people. But, for what it’s worth, I’ve heard they just want a sexier name, and there’s nothing more sexy than car parking.”

While the money to be made from inner-city parking garages has been well known for many years, lucrative parking venues around the northern suburbs are seemingly few and far between, making Austin Parking’s Heidelberg venue something of a financial anomaly. The source said, “People don’t have much choice really, unless you want to park a couple of kilometres away and walk up all the massive hills around the area. And, you know, you can park your car in West Heidelberg at your own peril really.”