The good people of Watsonia North have been dealt another savage blow as a recent study ranked their home patch as one of Melbourne least ‘walkable’ suburbs. The study, which was linked to the healthiest suburb study reported on last week, ranked every suburb out of 10 for their ‘walkability’.

While Watsonia scored a respectable 8 out of 10, its neighbour Watsonia North received the damning figure of 0.5 out of 10, angering many local residents — and also calling into question the scientific legitimacy of the research. One proud Watsonia North resident, who requested strict anonymity, told The Watsonia Bugle, “What kind of dingbats conducted this research? It’s a load of baloney. How can bordering suburbs differ so greatly? This is outrageous.”

In further proof of the deepening divide between residents of Watsonia and Watsonia North, one presumably walking resident from Watsonia said, “It makes sense mate. Grimshaw Street is like the Great Wall of China. Not many cross it on foot. All them Watsy North people complain about the traffic snarl on Macorna Street in the morning. Maybe some of them sooks should try walking instead.”