Considering that he was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, it’s safe to assume that the man running in a south-westerly direction up Main Street Greensborough earlier today was not doing it for the exercise. While he was wearing a worn but orthotically sound pair of Nike Shox, the remainder of the man’s outfit suggested a more casual than active look.

In addition to the odd clothing choice for a run up Main Street, the man also had fire in his eyes, and was running more like a man being chased than a man trying to get in shape for summer. While we’re not in the habit of speculating too much here at The Watsonia Bugle, we felt it was safe to assume that the man was motivated by nefarious matters.

Our suspicions were confirmed half an hour later when we saw the same man being loaded into the back of a divvy van up near KFC as we were driving back to the relative safety of Bugle HQ in Watsonia. Looking agitated, and slightly puffed out, the man valiant running attempts seem to have failed.