The Haunted House at tonight’s Watsyvania event will reportedly show a repeating loop of the first quarter of this year’s AFL Grand Final in an attempt to further torture local Collingwood supporters. While the specifics of the screening remain unclear, a source close to the event claims that footage of the first quarter will definitely be shown.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, the source said, “Yeah mate, it’s happening. There are a lot of Magpie fans in the Diamond Valley, so we feel that footage will be scarier and more disturbing than any zombies, ghosts or vampires we can dress up as. Fancy letting a lead like that slip through your fingers. It’ll be hard to watch.”

The source also indicated that organisers behind the Haunted House discussed whether the footage would be too traumatising for some viewers. They said, “It was discussed. But then one of the committee told us that he was an Essendon supporter and had been hearing jokes about the 1990 Grand Final for the last 28 years. He was like, ‘Stuff ‘em. Stuff all of them. Who kicked five goals in the 1990 Grand Final? Yeah, I know. It was Essendon. They can all get stuffed.’ When we heard the quiver in his voice, we decided it was time for some payback.”