The world has officially gone mad this week after it was confirmed that Bunnings sausage sizzles must now serve their onion wedged in between the sausage and bread. Apparently the new mandate has been delivered due to a fear of loose onion falling off sausages and creating a slipping hazard within the large hardware stores.
While the term, “The world’s gone mad” is alleged to have been in legitimate use for centuries, one local historian claims that this sausage and onion development is the clearest indication yet that society as we know it is going down the metaphorical toilet. History professor Roger Stanley told The Watsonia Bugle, “Throughout history, people have had good reason to claim that the world they were living in had gone mad but I believe, in my research, that this moment is the clearest ever indication that society is damned. If we, as a human race, are not evolved enough to avoid discarded pieces of cooked onion on a concrete floor, we really are wasting our time on this earth.”
Meanwhile, self-proclaimed BBQ connoisseur Darryl Bradley believes that radical change-up adversely effects the taste formula of a sausage and onion in bread. Bradley said, “It just messes with the whole gastronomic construction of the piece. Seriously, do you ever sprinkle Milo on the bottom of a bowl before putting ice cream in it? No. The onion is a garnish. It belongs on top of the sausage. You don’t mess with the integrity of the snag and onion in bread.”