A local smoker’s passion for the outdoors was tested this morning as heavy rain fell all around Melbourne, causing flash flooding and general mayhem. Brad Leonard normally relishes the opportunity to “grab some fresh air” out of the office each day, but was seen cowering under a dripping awning near his inner-city workplace just after 11.30am this morning.

Leonard’s work colleagues noted his unusual reluctance to leave his desk throughout the morning, with one so concerned about the behaviour that she contacted The Watsonia Bugle to share the story. The anonymous work mate said, “It was a bit strange, Brad normally pops out a few times each morning for a quick gasper, but he didn’t really get out this morning. And he didn’t even drop his usual ‘just going out to grab some fresh air’ gag. It was all quite odd.”

Initially unwilling to speak to us about his sudden change in behaviour, Leonard eventually conceded, “Look mate, it’s mornings like this morning that make you realise how marginalised smokers really are in 2018. I was cowering under that crappy little air conditioning unit out in the back alley like some kind of junkie. It’s no life to live. I wish it was like the old days when people could just smoke at their desk.”