A dimwitted Collingwood supporter is struggling with the decision of which team to barrack for in next year’s AFLX, considering the obvious lack of a team wearing black and white. As announced yesterday, next year’s hotly anticipated AFLX extravaganza will feature four teams headed by current AFL stars who will select their teammates in a similar manner to kids in the primary school playground.

According to Brent Graham, the lack of a Collingwood player as captain of one of the oddly named teams is presenting a significant challenge. According to Graham, “I just don’t know who to barrack for mate. Why wasn’t Pendles named as one of them captains? Or Steele? Maybe even De Goey? I mean, we’ve got heaps of superstars on our list. I just don’t think I can fully get behind a team that is not captained by a proper ‘Woodsman’. You know what I mean?”

Obviously the product of a club committed to cultivating a genuine “us against them” siege mentality, Graham now faces a difficult two months attempting to evaluate who he hates the least out of the four nominated captains. He said, “I’m not sure at this stage. But I’ll have a bit of a think about it after Christmas I reckon. Might wait to see how many of the Collingwood boys get picked to play. And will I still be able to wear me Magpies training jacket and membership lanyard? I mean, there’s just too many questions for me to answer.”