Safeway has allegedly claimed a points victory in the ongoing supermarket war with fierce opponent Coles. In what some consumers have described as “revolutionary”, our nation’s two major supermarket chains have started selling “Your Zooper Dooper Favourites” packets that contain only two flavours, instead of the usual array of multiple flavours in a packet.

While Coles has opted for the Blackcurrant and Fairy Floss combo, Safeway has gone with Cola and Lime. The superiority of those two flavours is unquestionable, leading some local consumers to say they will be solely shopping at Safeway from now on.

On such consumer, Watsonia woman Laura Edwards said, “It’s a lay down misere. I’m not necessarily against Blackcurrant and Fairy Floss as a concept, but Cola and Lime are the king and queen of Zooper Dooper flavours. The only reason you’d ever consider going for the Coles option was if you were trying to curb Zooper Dooper consumption in your household.”

Another consumer was even more damning of the Coles option. Brian Copeland told The Watsonia Bugle, “Cola and Lime for the win mate. Any other flavour duet may as well be piss and sweat when compared to the big C and L.”