A local man named Cole is not happy about the way “coleslaw” has gradually just become known as “slaw”, telling friends it’s a bastardisation of our uniquely Australian dialect, and yet another example of the Americanisation of our culture. Cole Bradley is so unhappy about the current state of affairs that he has taken to writing hundreds of emails and letters to both restaurants and cookbook publishers, in what he describes as a last-ditched effort to save the humble “Cole”.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, in a desperate attempt to shine a brighter light on his cause, Bradley said, “It happened so gradually that I think most people just didn’t realise. Next thing you know, Cole is getting chopped out everywhere. My hundreds of emails and letters seem to be getting me nowhere. I honestly don’t know what to do next.”

While vowing to continue with his dedicated writing and sending of correspondence, Bradley said he is also preparing to attack what he sees as the root cause of the gradual removal. He said, “When you actually sit down and think about it, pulled pork is to blame in all of this. It really took off a few years ago, and the most appropriate accompaniment is a lovingly made coleslaw. But, of course, people just started calling it a ‘slaw’ and it grew legs from there. The way I see it, if I can phase pulled pork out, or any pulled meat for that matter, I just might be able to out the ‘Cole’ back into coleslaw.”