A local family has confirmed that the oddly prominent Twirl bars from two Christmas stockings are the only items of chocolate that have survived the festive season in their household. Family matriarch Debbie White also claimed that no matter how desperate people had gotten for chocolate in the last three weeks, nobody had even handled the remaining Twirl bars, let alone unwrapped them and eaten them.
Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, White said, “I didn’t buy them. I mean, who would buy a stocking where Twirl was the big-ticket item? They’re kidding themselves. The stockings were actually gifts and, like most houses around the festive season, we had an absolute glut of chocolate laying around the place. We bravely worked our way through pretty much all of it within the first week and a half, and now all that’s left is the bloody Twirls. They’ve sat there in the fridge but nobody will touch them. Not even the kids.”
White compared the current stand-off to the post-Easter period where chocolate cravings are rampant, and family members have to decide whether they’re desperate enough to eat non-branded eggs and bunnies. She said, “You know the ones, not Cadbury, Red Tulip, Lindt, or anything decent. Probably something from Aldi. They sit there for ages until some desperate soul lowers themselves to the moment and eats them. I reckon that’s what will happen to the Twirls at some stage in the next fortnight.”