A local hoarder is currently living in fear of clean freak, and clutter buster, Marie Kondo, the founder of KonMari, and star of Netflix phenomenon Tidying Up. While Watsonia man Gavin Sellers concedes that his has a minor inability to throw things out, he says the KonMari “movement” has placed him in a constant state of fear, afraid that Kondo will knock on his door any day now to tackle the increasing clutter in his three-bedroom house.

Not sure who Marie Kondo is, or what KonMari is all about? Well, neither are we really, but Sellers remains convinced that he’d be a prime target to enhance Kondo’s already growing reputation for improving people’s lives by helping them to tidy up their houses and only retain possessions that “spark joy” in their lives.

In a revealing interview with The Watsonia Bugle, Sellers said, “Every time someone knocks on my front door I’m convinced that it’s her standing on my porch with a massive camera crew. I don’t want the world to see how I live. I’ve done a bit of research on her philosophy, and I just know that we’ll butt heads. I mean, I get the whole ‘sparks joy’ thing, but I like to keep a whole variety of interesting items that I’ve collected over the years.”

In an attempt to illustrate his state of fear, Sellers gave the example of his comprehensive 1980s Footy Record collection. He said, “I’ve got boxes and boxes of Footy Records from the 80s and early 90s. They take up a fair chunk of me garage. Technically they don’t ‘spark joy’, but they do make me feel safe. I love them. And I can’t bear the thought of parting with them. The wife’s always on me case about them, so I can just see her jumping on board with Marie and them ganging up on me.”

While Sellers’ fear seems slightly irrational, and shows a primitive knowledge of how “reality television” is actually filmed, he can’t let go of the fear that Kondo will come knocking any time soon. He said, “I just can’t mate. I’d be prime case for her. The world will laugh at me, and I’ll lose me Footy Records. It will be a nightmare.”