A local dad who finally thought he had the parenting of his two young children under control has been shaken by the introduction to his household of one of the world’s most-maligned musical instruments. David Johnson’s life has been turned upside down by his daughter bringing home her first ever recorder, with strict instructions to practice “at least half an hour a day”.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about the disturbing development, Johnson said, “They say pride comes before a fall, and it couldn’t be truer in this case. I reckon I’d spent the last two weeks thinking to myself ‘Yep, I’ve got this parenting gig sorted’. Both kids are in school, we’ve found a bit of a routine. Work is good, the weather is nice, life is going well. Then, all of a sudden, Grace comes home with this bloody recorder. Man, five minutes into her first practice session and I had a splitting headache, the dog wouldn’t stop barking, the wife was grumpy, and our youngest started cracking the sads as well.”

Johnson said the experience had him feeling he was back to square one as a parent. He said, “I reckon this is worse than a newborn who won’t feed, a tantrum throwing two-year-old, and toilet training toddler that craps his pants three times a day. Why me?”