Self-proclaimed local “baller”, Jerome Kennedy, has finally admitted to friends that he wears the number 23 for his mid-week basketball team because he thinks he’s Michael Jordan. Having fought the gentle ribbing of his teammates for the last three seasons, Jerome also admitted after last night’s game that the elbow strapping he wears is for no medical reason.

Speaking outside the Diamond Valley Stadium last night, Jerome said, “Apparently the elbow strapping was the final straw for the boys. I mean I’ve been wearing 23 and sticking my tongue out a lot when I’m playing, but now it’s official. I mean MJ is the greatest of all time, of course I want to be like him. I’ve pretty much modelled my whole game on the GOAT, and I watch a lot of YouTube videos of him in action.”

Jerome’s bold admission is at direct odds with his season averages of 2.7 points, 0.5 rebounds, and 0.03 steals per game in the B-Grade Men’s competition at Diamond Valley. Michael Jordan’s NBA averages were 30.1 points, 6.2 rebounds, and 2.35 steals per game.