A 16-year-old Watsonia youth has accidentally gotten horribly wasted after serving as the barman at his sister’s 18th last night. The youth, who cannot be named for legal reasons, started the night enthusiastically removing bottle tops for his sister’s friends, before deciding to sample a few himself, leading to a rapid downward spiral that he could neither explain or understand.

While the youth’s parents later admitted that it was a valuable learning experience for their son, that didn’t stop them from expressing their displeasure as he spent most of this morning cradling the toilet bowl and telling anyone that would listen that he thought he was going to die. His father told The Watsonia Bugle, “It was just too late before we realised what was actually happening. I expected that he’d try one or two, but I never thought he go as far as he did. When he told me he loved me at about 10.15pm I knew we had a problem.”

From that admission of love, the youth only lasted another half an hour behind the bar before he was later discovered in the backyard, lying on his back and staring up at the sky expressing amazement at the canvas of colours above him. The youth’s sister – the birthday girl – was not impressed. She said, “It was soooo embarrassing. Like, he starting trying to hug all my friends and they were just like, ‘Stop it, you’re gross’. But he didn’t stop it.”