A local man has spectacularly claimed that he’s never once defecated at his place of work, such is his intense aversion to using public toilets. Luke Sturrock made the bold claim on social media yesterday when referencing a heated spat taking place in his office about the cleanliness or lack thereof in the office bathroom.

In Sturrock’s Facebook post sharing news of the office dispute, he casually mentioned that, “it could never be caused by me because I’ve never once taken a dump at work. Not even when I was a teenager working at Coles. I always save number twos for home time.” The comments thread for the post focused mainly on these claims, rather than the actual office dispute referenced by Sturrock.

One such comment asked, “Who are you? Finch from American Pie?” while many others questioned how a 38-year-old man could have avoided doing a poo at work over a 20-year period. Another commenter actually admonished Sturrock, saying “doing the business at work is one of life’s great pleasures. You’re literally getting paid to do poo.”

Despite multiple requests, Sturrock refused to be interviewed for this article.

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