A local doctor has flown in the face of unqualified opinion by firmly advising against actual ingestion of cups of concrete. Dr Graeme Fleming provided the advice during a particularly hectic time for casual binge drinkers, a time in which many are being told to harden up despite having been drinking for over seven days straight right now.

Dr Fleming told The Watsonia Bugle, “Too often, people are just being told to harden up when their bodies are actually crying out for a rest. This widespread suggestion of having a cup of concrete to cure all ills is a reckless suggestion that needs to be quelled immediately. Plus, when people enter this vulnerable state induced by constant drinking, they might just be stupid enough to take the advice of ingesting a cup of concrete, premixed or otherwise.

The good doctor’s advice has proven quite timely for at least one local binge drinker who turned up to work this morning feeling a little worse for wear after a big Anzac Day on the cans. Caleb Leonard fronted up to his weekly Friday lunch at the pub earlier today having already vomited three times in the office toilet. Despite his weakened state, Leonard’s co-workers showed little mercy, pouring him a pot of beer and demanding that he drink it immediately.

While Leonard laboured through it, and endured multiple suggestions to “have a cup of concrete” if he couldn’t stomach the pot, he said he was pleased to hear the advice from an actual medical professional. Leonard said, “He’s right. I need to ease up. Maybe I should just go straight home tonight, grab some takeaway of Watsy Road, and have an early night? My blood alcohol reading has barely dipped below 0.05 in the last eight days. I’m a mess.”