A local anthropologist has speculated that Chewbacca is most likely the proud owner of a very large penis. Professor Callum Jones made the brave, yet unsurprising, claims in the conclusion of an in depth study looking at the likely member sizes of a variety of fictional animals.
While acknowledging that Mr Snuffleupagus is likely to own the largest dong, Jones said that predictions indicate that, pound for pound, Chewbacca has the largest hoss in the fictional animal kingdom. Jones said, “Let’s just say its lucky the big fella is quite hairy, otherwise his schlong would be just hanging there for all to see. Wookiees in general would all be packing some significant genital heat, but a large warrior like Chewie would be at the head of the table.”
While Jones wouldn’t be drawn on the actual scientific process applied in the study, he insisted that the predictions were made on more than just analysing the foot size of each mythical creature. He said, “Mate, that’s an old wives tale, foot size is only a rough determinant of doodle length. Don’t get sucked into that.”