A local woman has revealed that she lives in constant fear of the so-called “Neptune’s Kiss”, claiming that the thought of it sends chills down her spine. So, what exactly is a Neptune’s Kiss? It’s basically a slightly exotic way of describing that unsettling feeling when dunny water splashes up to your bottom after you’ve dropped a particularly rambunctious piece of poo into the toilet. Don’t believe us? Well, it’s in the Urban Dictionary, so it’s legit. And don’t lie, because we know it’s happened to you at some stage in your life.

Watsonia resident Helen Ozman claims that her deep fear of the Neptune’s Kiss goes right back to her childhood. She said, “I remember it happening when I was a little kid, and it still gives me chills to this very day. Over the years I’ve developed certain methods to mitigate the chance of it happening, but sometimes it just slips through, and I’m right back to square one. It’s a nightmare.”