An unsuspecting local father has had his entire Spotify account ruined by regularly playing music for his young children, irreparably damaging the algorithms that drive the popular audio streaming platform. Things came to a head yesterday for Watsonia’s very own Darren Innes when he logged in to Spotify for his morning commute.

Witnesses of the eventual meltdown experienced by Innes say they are genuinely concerned about his short-term welfare. One anonymous witness said, “I was just sitting in a car next to him on Rosanna Road when he started yelling and screaming. At first, I thought he was just mad about the traffic. I mean, it was pretty bad, but no worse than usual. But then I realised he was unhappy about his music. He just starting yelling ‘What is this shit?’ over and over again. It was like his brain had short-circuited.”

When The Watsonia Bugle managed to track Innes down this morning for an exclusive interview he had calmed down slightly, but still seemed quite peeved about what he described as a “ruthless and calculated hijacking” of his music streaming account. He said, “It’s a bloody nightmare. Seriously. The kids have terrible taste in music. These days my suggested Daily Mixes are all absolute rubbish. I honestly don’t know what to do.”