The AFL has reportedly introduced a new Auskick drill that will be implemented at junior football venues across the country this weekend. The drill is said to mirror the controversial actions of Sydney defender Dane Rampe last Friday night by attempting to teach young hopefuls how to scale a goal post without shaking the aforementioned goal post. The drill is also expected to teach youngsters how to then inadvertently escape punishment for their illegal behaviour from either the umpire of the game, or the competition that governs it.

A source from one local Auskick venue has told The Watsonia Bugle that they received instructions for the drill in their weekly email yesterday, including what can only be assumed was a hastily produced video outlining how to successfully run the drill. According to our anonymous source, “It’s an odd one, that’s for sure. Normally the drills are fairly repetitive, and just focus on the basics of the game. You know: kicking, marking and handballing. This is next-level. So much so that they clearly stated that it was only to be attempted by the older kids at the sessions. Not the five-year-olds.”

While the move may seem extreme to some observers, it does kind of mirror the AFL’s complicit approval of Rampe’s illegal action from the closing stages of last Friday night’s game. And for an organisation that regularly attempts to save face by essentially doing as they please, and judiciously applying pragmatism, we have no reason to question our trusted source on this story.