A work colleague reading his book in the office lunchroom claims he’s prepared to be interrupted multiple times during his short half-hour break. The would-be reader, who requested strict anonymity, claimed that sometimes he doesn’t even get to read a paragraph, so great are the number of interruptions that he endures from otherwise well-meaning colleagues.

The book worm said, “I don’t even know why I bother sometimes, seriously. I read a sentence, and then some genius strolls in and asks me what I’m reading. I feel like telling them to ‘look at the cover you dipshit’, but it is a workplace, so I have to bite my tongue. In summer I go outside and read, but it’s way too cold at this time of the year.”

When asked whether he had developed any useful strategies to discourage human interaction during his break, the man claimed it wasn’t worth it. He said, “There’s no point, really. I’ve tried a few things. Like wearing headphones, slipping my real book into the cover of a distasteful book, or just point-blank ignoring people. None of it works. These arseholes are pretty persistent. I guess they have to do something while last night’s leftovers go through the microwave. But why don’t they just stare blankly at their phones like a normal person?”