Beer advertisements on display at a local IGA seem to be delivering a long-term return on investment that is arguably unrivalled in modern marketing. The banners from long-suffering brewer Tooheys currently have pride of place above the heritage listed coolroom at Lee’s SUPA IGA at Diamond Village, proudly promoting the virtues of the somewhat forgotten drops of Tooheys Blue and Tooheys Red.

While exact sales figures for Tooheys products at Lee’s IGA were unavailable at the time of writing, one local marketer claims the exposure attained by the large banners above the fridge present incredible value for money. According to advertising industry veteran Nick Vallance, “branding on the actual fridge of a bottle shop is what we refer to as a ‘high traffic area’. It’s on par with the freeway billboards you see on the way to the airport. I don’t know what Tooheys paid for that location back in the day, but the fact that they are still there represents the kind of long-term value that is non-existent in modern-day marketing. These days it’s all about social media and clicks. It’s blink and you miss it kind of stuff.”

Despite that glowing endorsement, most of the customers that we spoke to last night could not be lured into purchasing either Tooheys Red or Tooheys Blue. One such customer, who requested anonymity, told us, “I don’t care what colour you offer me, or how cheap it is, I would never drink that shit. I assume them banners are just up there for nostalgic purposes. Like those Fosters Special posters you spot from time to time.”