The controversial new lane markings on the Greensborough Road in between Elder Street and Grimshaw Street have divided the community, with some claiming they are ridiculous, while others say they are punishment for a generation of motorist skullduggery. Presumably an attempt to stop people from chopping lanes during peak traffic periods (a long-time bug bear of local motorists), the new lane formation has been the talk of the Diamond Valley ever since it was introduced a couple of weeks ago.

Speaking like a dad with toddlers that continually tear down and break everything in his house, local motorist Pete Matthews told The Watsonia Bugle, “This is the perfect example of why we can’t have nice things. Sure, the new lanes are no good, but they never would’ve painted them if it wasn’t for the parasites that used to zoom down the right lane and then scab their way back into the Bypass lanes. Sometimes you just have to take your medicine.”

Taking a somewhat less-defeatist attitude, regular commuter Stephanie Drinkwell said, “They make absolutely no sense. I mean, it just sends that inevitable traffic crush a bit further back from the intersection at Grimshaw Street. That whole area is a write-off from about 4.00pm until 6.30pm. Why on earth would they decide to make that whole situation worse?”