Following Melbourne’s second placing for the title of World’s Most Liveable City, a local man has accused the selection panel of not having sat in Rosanna Road traffic during peak hour. While most Melbournians appear to be happy with the seemingly positive result, Cameron Hamilton has suggested that the rest of the world must be in a fairly poor state if Melbourne is literally the second-best place to live on the entire planet.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hamilton said, “Don’t get me wrong, I love Melbourne. Lived here all me life. But if there’s only one better city in the world than this joint, the planet’s in strife. I mean, seriously. None of the jokers making these lists must have experienced one afternoon of Melbourne’s peak hour, let alone a lifetime of it. They’re kidding themselves.”

Hamilton also raised a broader question over just how many of these most liveable city titles are handed out each year. He said, “There seems to be one announced every few months. It’s beyond a joke. I know modern media is all about content, content, and more content, but I think this title is too important to be entrusted to just any loosely-formed group that comes along. They should turn it into an actual competition. Reality TV style. Make it interesting. Challenge a whole bunch of international contestants to get from the Burke Road exit on the Eastern through to Apollo Parkways during an evening peak. Let’s see how ‘liveable’ they think Melbourne is then.”