Two idiotic local parents have reportedly wasted money on an obscenely expensive kids clock, telling The Watsonia Bugle that they can’t believe they spent so much money on something so ineffectual. Laura and Ben Reynolds purchased a Gro Clock a fortnight ago under the misguided impression that it would magically trap their three-year-old daughter in her bedroom until 7.00am each morning.

Excitedly unpacking the box when they got it home, the couple enthused over how the clock would be “a real game changer”, with Ben even bellowing, “Hello sleep ins!” And while their daughter did comply with the operation of the clock for at least the first two mornings of its operation, she quickly realised that it did not have an invisible forcefield that would gently contain her in her room until the smiling sun rose on the clock’s face.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Laura said, “I can’t believe it. I mean, I really thought it was going to work. I’d read all about it, watched a few YouTube clips, and all the girls from mothers group were raving about it. On the first two mornings we were like, ‘how good is this’, but then she worked out that the insanely expensive clock had no real hold on her. I’m full devo.”