A local android user has finally admitted that he spends the majority of his life trying to undermine the iPhone users that he interacts with. Lucas Tannon said he only behaves the way he does in an attempt to shield the world from any of his own personal inadequacies, and deep down understands that Apple technology is quite intuitive.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about his interactions with iPhone users, Tannon said, “I’m kind of like a person that buys an electric lawnmower, I’m basically just spending the rest of my life trying to justify my choice of product. And if that means I have to attack others to defend my position, I’ll do it. After all, attack is the best form of defence, everyone knows that.”