An abandoned five dollar note sitting in a well-used pub urinal posed an interesting moral dilemma for local drinkers last night. The positioning of the note posed the age-old question of what amount of money would you be willing to stick your hand into the remnants of potentially over 100 urine samples from complete strangers?

One of the morally-tested drinkers, Will Bannister, contacted The Watsonia Bugle this morning to discuss his quandary, telling us, “It was a real doozy mate. We debated it for ages. I reckon my line was 10 bucks, some of the others were saying 50 bucks, and one of our real germ-conscious mates was saying no bucks. But by the time we’d made up our minds, some filthy bludger must have just taken it. Good on him. Probably got a free pot out of it.”

While the irony of that presumed eventual use of the five dollar note was initially lost on Bannister, it soon dawned on him when we asked whether he reckons he ended up with that soiled note in his wallet by the end of the night, after it changed hands over the bar and then circulated amongst multiple wallets during the course of the evening. He said, “Oh, you reckon that could’ve happened? I guess you’re right. That’s pretty gross isn’t it. The bar staff’s hands are always a bit wet aren’t they, so you’d probably never even notice. That’s grim mate.”