A study out of a local university has revealed that wealthy people tend to be worse at driving than those who are struggling to get by. The in-depth study, which analysed the driving behaviours of drivers all over Melbourne, and then matched them against each person’s socioeconomic status, also suggested that the level of courtesy shown when behind the wheel could also be linked to their apparent wealth or lack thereof.

While the finding is sure to cause a stir across Melbourne, one local man claims that he knew this all along. Harry Underwood of Watsonia said, “Of course mate, I could’ve saved all them boffins the trouble of doing that study. When the only insurance you can afford is third party fire and theft, plus a whopping big excess, you drive with the care and precision of a bloody professional Jenga player. Most of them rich people have insurance policies that are worth double what my actual car is worth, and they could pay the excess with the spare change sitting in their ashtray.”

Meanwhile, Roger Tanner-Smith of Toorak labelled the findings as “preposterous” and insisted that all of the people in his local area were wonderful drivers. Tanner-Smith told The Watsonia Bugle, “I honestly do not know what they are talking about. As an occasional polo player, I pride myself on being able to drive all kinds of vehicles with great skill. This study must have been conducted by a university other than the University of Melbourne. This, in my esteemed opinion, rules the findings unfathomable.”

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