A local social sports enthusiast says he’s now taking coronavirus seriously after the official postponement of mid-week basketball. Chris Wallace has told The Watsonia Bugle about his disappointment over the heart-breaking decision, openly questioning what his purpose in life will be until the recommencement of hostilities at the Diamond Valley Stadium on a Monday night.

A disconsolate Wallace said, “Mate, how’s Wally gonna drop those dimes now that Monday bball has been cancelled. This is a living nightmare. Maybe I’ll start washing my hands a bit more vigorously. This thing is obviously pretty serious.”

Wallace admitted that he had initially used the now global pandemic for comedic purposes only, but this grievous impact on his lifestyle had hit too close to home. He said, “How am I going to take out my weekly frustrations now? Mid-week basketball provides me with an outlet that I’m yet to find in any other part of my weekly routine.”