Government officials have reportedly begun enforcing strict social distancing rules in the popular pedestrian tunnel that links Watsonia North to Greensborough, installing security guards at each entrance and only allowing two people to use the thoroughfare at a time. The extreme measure is part of the elevated Stage 3 measures currently in place to slow the spread of COVID-19 in the local community.

While most nearby residents seemed happy with the new regime, some were not so impressed, with one anonymous dog walker telling The Watsonia Bugle, “This is ridiculous. I feel like I’m passing under ‘The Wall’ in Game of Thrones. But all I’m actually doing is popping out for a walk into Greensy. It’s all a bit much if you ask me.”

And some long-time Melburnians are now claiming this will become the most closely guarded tunnel since the notorious Tunnel nightclub that ruled our city’s after dark scene in the 80s and 90s. With one veteran of Melbourne nightlife saying, “If I try to pass through that tunnel and some bouncer tells me that my shoes aren’t right to get in, I’ll lose my mind. I’m too old for this shit.”