A local man has bravely voiced his concerns about how he’ll reintegrate into an office-based work environment after getting a taste of working from home in the last fortnight. Kelvin O’Donnell calmly admitted his fears for the future while sipping homemade coffee, wearing tracksuit pants, and confidently farting from the relative security of his comfortable home office chair.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, O’Donnell said, “I haven’t worn pants that require a belt for almost a full fortnight now, it’s been incredible. And as for the daily commute, the only time I’ve hit traffic since working from home was when I momentarily bumped into my wife on the walk down the hallway last Thursday morning. And that was fairly easy to navigate.”

As for the mildly taboo subject of O’Donnell’s current flatulence protocol, he said, “That’s probably going to be the hardest part, to be honest. In the real office, I have to either hold on to them, or walk to the bathroom to unleash a few. But at home, with the door to my home office shut, it’s just a good old-fashioned compression session. The only colleague that could take umbrage is my dog, and if he started complaining that would just be the height of hypocrisy. So, I can’t see him complaining any time soon.”

Advertisement