Everyone’s favourite Dancing Coffee Cup has discovered that working from home isn’t suitable for his role in society. The popular performing artist briefly trialled working from home last week, but soon realised it was untenable.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, the cup said, “I tried it for a couple of days, but it was no good. I danced my heart out in the lounge room, in the kitchen, and out on the porch, but it inspired hardly anyone to buy coffee. I guess I’m what they’d call an ‘essential’ worker. Society needs me.”

The cup’s return to its rightful place on Greensborough Highway has been bolstered by the fact that no human-to-coffee-cup COVID-19 transmissions have been recorded so far. The Pitstop remains open, with its drive thru service providing arguably the safest way to get takeaway coffee right now. And they’ve been further supporting the community by offering Austin Hospital staff with free coffee for a week at the beginning of this month.