A forward-thinking bunch of local DIY enthusiasts have used current societal circumstances to reactivate their bold campaign to encourage Bunnings to apply for a liquor licence so the hardware chain can replace their popular sausage sizzles with regular can bars. A spokesperson for the group claims that the closure of many social hubs has made the idea “more viable than ever” and would be a win-win situation for shoppers, local fundraisers and Bunnings alike.

The dormant campaign was reactivated over the weekend, after the group reconvened over a passionate Zoom group chat that was significantly lubricated by excess beer consumption. The group’s spokesperson then contacted The Watsonia Bugle in an attempt to heighten awareness about their campaign.

The spokesperson said, “The time is now, mate, I’m telling ya. Wandering through Bunnings with a beer in my hand has always been a dream of mine, and now with all the pubs and that shut down, plus the sausage sizzle out of action, there’s never been a better time in our nation’s history to introduce this absolute game-changer.

“People are just hanging for a social outlet. Something. Anything. And who knows, maybe you could ‘accidentally’ bump into a few of your mates while you’re inside Bunnings, kinda like that Carlton Mid ad from a few years ago when those blokes all bumped into each other while supposedly on separate holidays with their girlfriends. Sure, it’s a bit of a cheeky loophole, but it will benefit local community groups, so that’s a great result for society as a whole.”

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