A local man has claimed that he can’t remember the last time he wore jeans or trousers, bravely revealing that tracksuit pants have pretty much become his permanent uniform. Ben Hallam had the shocking realisation yesterday afternoon after logging on to a Zoom chat with his parents for Mothers Day, looking down at what he was wearing, and reflecting that normally he’d get a bit more dressed up to wish his mother all the best on her special day.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle, Hallam said, “Well, I’m working from home at the moment, and the only reason I leave the house is for exercise or to go to the supermarket, so there’s literally been no need to dress up. To be honest, it’s been awesome, but a small part of me is starting to realise that my standards are slipping a bit.”

However, Hallam also confided that he’d been having nightmares about the first day he has to return to his inner-city office space. He said, “Oh mate, it’s giving me the chills. Just the whole experience, putting itchy work trousers on, wearing leather shoes, affixing a tie around my neck. And that’s before I’ve even had to walk to the station and then cram into a packed train carriage for the morning commute. I don’t want to go back to that life. I like tracky dacks me.”