A local mid-week basketballer says he’s pretty keen for a resumption in hostilities at the Diamond Valley Stadium after watching all episodes of The Last Dance on Netflix over the last month. Luke Jenkins contacted The Watsonia Bugle yesterday to announce his willingness to return to the hotbed of mid-week social sport, simply messaging a presumptuous, “I’m ready to come back”.

Jenkins then expanded on his feelings, claiming that gaining further insight into what motivated Michael Jordan to become the greatest basketballer of all time had made him keener than ever to hit the court. He said, “Yeah man, I mean, MJ is the GOAT, we all know that. I see a lot of similarities in his competitive drive in myself. Plus, I also wear one of those elbow straps when I play, so we’re very similar.”

Despite a complete lack of medical knowledge or qualifications, Jenkins insisted that the community was ready to begin gathering in large sports stadiums again. He said, “It’s time man. Ballers gotta ball, it’s as simple as that. I’ve been dominating a few of the local kids at park at the end of my street, but I need some better competition. You know, the kind of competition that you can only find at DV Stadium on a weeknight.”