A suburban fire pit has mysteriously extinguished itself after allegedly not being shared on Instagram within the first hour of being lit. The incident, which occurred in Watsonia yesterday afternoon, has sent shockwaves through the tight-knit backyard fire community, with genuine fears that similar extinguishings could be on the cards.

The owner of the fire pit, who requested strict anonymity, contacted The Watsonia Bugle last night to express their concerns, insisting that the lack of social media sharing was an isolated incident and wouldn’t happen again. They said, “I’m not sure what I was thinking. Normally I’ll post it as soon as the flames are looking good enough for a bit of IG traction. Maybe a main post, but at the very least a bit of a Story or two. You know, give the Boomerang effect a bit of a go. But I just got distracted yesterday.”

The source then claimed that the fire took on sentient qualities, seemingly punishing its owner for a complete lack of public acknowledgement of its ability to simultaneously provide warmth, ambience and aesthetics. They said, “I don’t know what it was, but I just reckon the fire knew it hadn’t been shared to my 300 followers. And the fire was angry, mate. Just extinguished like that [clicked fingers]. It was so bizarre.”

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