Internet sensation, and accidental meme lord, Karen from Brighton has publicly complained that up to a third of the five-kilometre radius from her home suburb is under water. Previously a strong advocate of Brighton’s bayside location, Karen has reportedly requested government dispensation for the geographic anomaly, claiming it’s restricting the amount of variety she can add to her daily exercise regime.
An anonymous source from the Premier’s office confirmed the unique request had been placed earlier today, with Dan Andrews yet to officially respond. The government insider said, “At first we thought it was a joke, but preliminary investigations suggest that it checks out. In some ways I guess she has a point, but public sympathy for her plight remains fairly low at this point.”
Equally galling for Karen is the fact The Tan sits outside of Brighton’s five-kilometre radius, estranging her from her beloved walking track. Our inside source has confirmed that any attempts to bargain with the radius portion lost in Port Phillip Bay would be unsuccessful. They said, “Yeah, she asked. Tried to claim that the water-logged part of her radius should be applied elsewhere. If not all the way to The Tan, at least up to Albert Park Lake. Alas, I don’t think that option is on the table.”