An ambitious local town planner claims he was applied to have our main road renamed “Watsonia Boulevard” in an attempt to add some class and sophistication to our central business district. Trevor Williamson says that decades of working in the town planning industry have taught him the importance of choosing esteemed names to further elevate a region’s standing in general society.

Speaking exclusively to The Watsonia Bugle about his optimistic application, Williamson said, “Globally, expansive boulevards are synonymous with sophistication, culture and, ultimately, higher real estate values. Watsonia Road is actually a beautiful stretch of road, with an expansive retail precinct, variety of dining experiences, and good-looking people everywhere you glance. But calling it a ‘Road’ really drags it down if you ask me. Slap the name ‘Boulevard’ on it, and it could finally realise the potential that I’ve always seen in it.”

While Williamson insisted that he hadn’t just stolen the concept from Montmorency’s esteemed Grand Boulevard, he did acknowledge that it provided a solid test case for the renaming of Watsonia Road. He said, “Montmorency constantly receives plaudits for its allegedly better standard of living. Is that because of the self-proclaimed coffee culture? No. The supposed community feel? No. The thriving online family otherwise known as Monty Life 3094? Maybe. But I’ve got no doubt that having a street called ‘Grand Boulevard’ in your suburb adds at least one zero onto the end of house values. Seriously.”