A Watsonia North woman claims that she continues to be troubled by the age-old hypothetical conundrum of whether you would rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses. Caroline Williams estimates that she has changed her answer “at least a thousand times” and has spent way too much time contemplating a scenario that is highly unlikely to occur in real life.

Speaking to The Watsonia Bugle about her seemingly never-ending state of flux, Williams said, “It all started a few years ago when that conundrum was doing the rounds on the Internet and over the water cooler in offices all over the world. Even then I spent way too much time trying to formulate my answer, but it’s gotten even worse with time. At least once or twice a week I lay in bed wide awake trying to decide which scenario I would choose. Then, when I finally fall asleep, I’m haunted by the most vivid dreams of me either battling a horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses.”

Convinced that both options are equally hellish, Williams is unsure when the indecision will end. She said, “It truly is the ultimate conundrum. I mean, this question could haunt me all the way to my grave. When I break it down, the horse-sized duck would be an absolute handful. Ducks are very aggressive, so imagine trying to contain a gigantic one that’s flapping its massive wings and coming at you with a huge angry beak. And as for the 100 duck-sized horses, the moment you lose your footing and go to ground, you’re absolutely done for. Horses can smell fear, and those 400 hooves would trample me to a painful death. I just can’t decide.”